Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Kitty Translations

Our parents recently bought us a tent to play in. But I think our idea of playing and theirs are a little different.
When they say the word play, they think of 'hide and seek' or something lame like that.
When WE say play, we mean 'lets rip this MOFO to shreds!'

Other ways in which we differ?
When they say waterdish, they mean a place in which to store water for drinking.
When WE say waterdish, we mean a place in which to bathe ourselves and drown toy mice.
What? don't you other kitties out there dip your paws in the waterbowl to bathe yourselves?

When they say it's time for bed, they mean sleep.
Time for bed to us means it's time to chase eachother at full speed around the house, and run over the bed in which parents are trying to sleep about a million times.

When they say they have to go somewhere, it means them leaving the house.
To us it means, 'We better scream and throw a temper tantrum so they don't leave us alone.'...or possibly 'Let's be as cute as we possibly can be, so they feel guilty as hell about leaving us!'

When they say 'Are you hungry?' they mean, 'Here, have some DIET cat food.'
To us it means, 'Yeah, Hand over the treats, bitch!'

When we aren't in view, those silly people expect to find us sleeping on the bed or maybe even on the dining room table chairs.
Where we really are??
Hiding in the cupboard above the microwave

or maybe in the cabinet in the bathroom sleeping with the nice rolls of toilet paper.

~Meg & Jack