Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Jealousy! Momma Kitty Needs Help

Hi! Mommy Kitty Here.
I need help from anyone out there in the wonderful cat blogosphere.
Almost 11 months ago, baby Nate was added to our family.
That is enough time for kitty adjustment, right?
Well...if anything, my little Megs jealousy is just getting worse and worse by the day.
She isn't aggressive or anything towards Nate. (She pretty much ignores him)
But, she has been taking our her crankiness on her poor kitty brother, Jack. Jack is enough of a scardy cat, he doesn't need the added stress of a cranky sister.
I try and try to go out of my way on a daily basis to give Meg some extra attention. I know she is a kitty that NEEDS attention.
She naps on my lap for hours in the evening...and sleeps with me at night, but for her, apparently that is not enough.
She has taken to smacking up poor Jackie at night when he tries to sleep on the bed with us. (Sleeping arrangements are exactly the same as they always have been. She just decided it's HER bed)

Any advice on how to tone down Megs pissitude?
I love my baby cats, and don't want either one of them upset. I hate that Meg is feeling umm..neglected? and that Jack is living under the stress of being attacked.


Astrid, Kashim and Othello said...

Awwww poor kitty darlings. we are sorry she doesn't feel comfortable with the new situation and a new kitty added.

Momma maded very good experiences with rescue remedy drops when Kashim and I are upset.

Maybe it helps to make hers feel better. they won't harm her.

maybe anyone else with more experience of adding kitties to the household has another better advice. We are in the middle of such an adjustment process ourselves right now. But from what momma can tell the remedies are helping us all to deal with the stressful situation.

luf and hugs
Kashim, Othello and the new kitty Salome

The Island Cats said...

We are having the same type of problems. Mom has been trying to introduce Zoey (a semi-feral) to me and Ernie for over 4 months. Zoey and me just don't see eye-to-eye. Because of this, mom won't let Zoey and me together (probably a good thing) and Zoey has to stay in a bedroom. We know that mom is not happy about the situation. Mom actually resorted to contacting a kitty shrink about us. The Dr. told her to keep me and Zoey separated and to introduce us very very slowly...feeding us together, playing with us together and trying to keep any interaction between us as positive and upbeat as possible.

We hope Megs and Jack become friends again.


pee ess. You can try rescue remedy as was suggested. Mom says she knows that it has helped some kitties a lot...but it didn't help us much.

TT said...

Have you tried Nutravet At Ease Cat spray? It worked for when we had to bring TT to the vet or when Molly and her would have their fits. It really does calm them down and help make them feel "at ease" with things going on. Or even catnip may help a bit.

Mommy Bean

Zoe and Indy said...

We are doing the same kind of thing as the island cats with Georgia. Keeping her in the bedroom especially when she's cranky, and introducing very slowly with lots of treats and encouragement. It sure is hard to be patient but that's probably the best advice. We haven't made much progress lately so sorry we can't be more help. But we sympathize. And really hope things start getting better we know how stressful that can be for everyone.

The Island Cats said...

We thought of something else you may want to try. Feliway. Comes in a spray or as a plug in. We have the plug-in diffusers all over the house.


The Meezers said...

awwwww. We was going to recommend Rescue Remedy and Feliway. We haf nefur used it because mommy just throws us into a room wif the new kitty and lets us decide things. Her way wif us only taked a day, but she does not recommend that for anyone else. When me and Sammy bof camed to live here, she putted us in the bedroom wif Grampa Norton and Gramma Trixie (and then Sammy when I camed here)and it was all hissy in the morning and when she camed home from werk, we was all snuggled on the bed togefur. Because Billy was sicky when he camed here she could not do that, and it was furry hard for us to adjust to him. Plus, we had kina forgotted what Gramma Trixie and Grampa Norton teached us when we was all locked up togefur.

We hopes that fings get better soon!

HRH Yao-Lin said...

my human can offer no advice in this matter. Baby Mao and I will never be friends, I have thrown a constant temper tantrum since his arrival and even now she walks in to find me biting or kicking him.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

We hope you find a solution soon. If you're stressed, they'll be stressed. And if they get attention for having hissy fits, they'll keep it up. Jan lived in studio apts for so many years, so she just got used to having to let them work it out - for the most part. Sometimes she had to be ingenious on how to separate them. Jenny "hated" all other cats and whapped them all till she got old and mellowed.

Cat Street Boyz said...

Hi, there are 6 of us in the Cat Street Boyz. Mommy found the best way to introduce a newby was using a large cage. We could see the each other but no one got hurt. There was the stages of, growling, hissing, spitting, pacing....that was just Toy when Tinker came.....Mom thought Toy would kill little Tinker! She gave Tink a bath to get any foreign smells removed. Things got better each day... Mommy was outside with the Spooz, when she came in little Tink had squeezed through the area where a hook on the cage door was undone and there was Toy and Tink playin' on the floor together! We know Toy and Tinker came from the same parent and maybe Toy's memory of where he used to be wasn't good. Anyway, Toy gave Tink trouble when Tang came seems he blames poor Tinker for every new brother...yet he is fine with Tang and Ty. Mommy gives special attention to Toy and he even goes out for walks on a harness and leash! Mommy never rewards him if he swats Tinker, she just brings out different toys to get our minds off a problem situation. Oh it also helps if you have a trained Spoo that if 2 of us have a spat, OBI or Luke come running and go in between us. One thing to remember is board kitties bite! Frustration can get the best of even the calmest kitty. If you can't get a good tall cat tree, then try getting some free cardboard boxes from a store, cut large holes for them to enter and exit....they just need some outlet for their energy and it's fun to watch. (Mommy butted in there) anyway, we still like getting..... surprise boxes even though we have many cat trees! Good luck, oh rescue remedy does work! =^Y^=the Cat Street Boyz & Mom

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Mom gave Zippy Rescue Remedy when Sadie first got here and things did calm down a bit, mostly mom would just watch to see who was starting trouble and then put the trouble maker in da bafroom until Zippy, er, da trouble maker calmed down. Da only thing dat really helped any was Speedy coming here...he is our peace maker. But, yeah, da Bach's and Feliway both work.

Victor Tabbycat said...

I'm no expert, but this sounds like a hierarchy issue. She's been "top cat" with Jack, and Nate may be asserting himself to become alpha. She's won't challenge Nate directly for whatever reason, so she's taking out her frustration on Jack. I've read Cat vs Cat, but I don't remember any suggestions for this. It may be mis-directed aggression. Cats reach social maturity at 2-3 years, so Nate may be a "teen", working out his adult position.

My vet said Rescue Remedy can be toxic to some cats, but no one has confirmed this. Feliway is safe. Bonnie disliked Victor for the entire 2.5 years they were together.

One suggestion from the book is increasing available territory by adding a cat tower or shelves or even just a window sill.

Ok, last thing but should have been mentioned first: talk to the vet! I really hope things work out for all of you! Purrs and hugs, Tabbymom Jen, Victor, & Nina

Victor Tabbycat said...

OMG! I just realized Nate's human, not feline! LOL! Forget everything I said about 3-way cat relationships. Still, try the vet, rescue remedy, feliway, increasing territory... Treats when she's being nice should encourage nice behavior, but Bonnie learned to be nice to Victor while getting treats - no other time! LOL
Good luck!

Kimo and Sabi said...

Maybe she is just trying to make sure that everyone knows she's queen of da house.

P.S. we tagged you fer a meme . . . come and see whut to do!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

aw, i'm sorry to hear this! maybe spraying Feliway could help. i'm an only kitty but with my former feralness, Feliway was a great way to help me calm down after my rescue.

thanks for visiting me! i'll stop back to make sure everything works out.

Karl said...

I Dare You!
Yes, it is time again for another challenge from The Cat Realm! Come and check out the details on our blog.
I hope you will accept the challenge and will eagerly await your entry!
(Do NOT dare us to make baby Nate go away, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

The Cat Realm said...

Sorry - was logged in with the wrong account - that was me, Karl, from The Cat Realm...

Moki said...

Hmmm...looks like quite a few suggestions have already been made. We hope one of them will work for you!